Snow has arrived in Michigan, and with it comes winter boots. We Michiganders seem to have the mitten part down, but we’re sorely lacking when it comes to the footwear fashion. Being stylish in the snow isn’t difficult; it just takes a little effort, some individualism, and a dose of leather care. Let’s start with the ladies:
If there’s one thing that irks me about my marriage it’s that my wife owns a pair of
Uggs. These boots look like dirty lunch bags stuffed with wet hamster chips, and they transform the female form and strut into something akin to that of a drunk circus clown walking on the moon. Spend time on a college campus in Michigan and you’ll be terrified to find that nearly every female on campus is decked out in Uggs, and worse, they match the boots with black tights. Skinny undergraduate legs exaggerate the size of the boot until Ann Arbor in January is like a ballerina-hippie-Eskimo nightmare.
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| Just Don't |
Ladies, Uggs make you look like you don’t shave your armpits, it’s disgusting. And don’t pretend like they’re comfortable; if you cared about comfort you’d be wearing actual hiking boots that stay on and have traction in deep snow, like these
North Face Chilkat Boots (almost like my name, see). You’re dressing up for other girls; it’s fashion at it’s most idiotic level. For the city, high heels still work.
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| Women's High Heel Boots |
Sure, snow limits fashion choices, but that’s no need to embarrass yourself with Uggs. Instead, go with a more form-fitting boot, with a knee-high, or even cowboy boots if the ground is dry. All will get you through the snow, and you won’t look like you smell of fish.
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| Women's Cowboy Boots |
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| Way Better than Uggs |
Fortunately for the men, we have it a bit easier. A pair of
Red Wing Irish Setters will get you through any situation, whether you’re shoveling, sledding, hunting, or out for a night on the town - perhaps the most versatile footwear known to man. If you’re working or sledding, tuck your pant legs into the boot. For more formal occasions, pair with jeans or khakis and wear the pant leg over the boot.
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| Stomp Stuff |
For an added touch, I suggest matching the Irish Setter with a Donegal cap, can’t beat this look.
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| Old Country |
Cowboy boots are enough to keep your feet warm in the city, but they can be slick if the sidewalks are wet, and the elements do these boots no favors. My ostrich leg boots require even more attention.
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| Ostrich Men's Boots |
I recommend these rubbers to protect during low snow, and they provide some traction. Ann Arbor gets relatively little snow, so I get away with cowboy boots with some leather treatment and covers. But for heavy snow days and trips north or west, back to the Red Wings.
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| Rubbers |
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| Leather Treatment |
Finally, a small endorsement for these ice gripping walkers. If an ice storm hits, or if you’re venturing onto a frozen lake, these will keep you upright and agile.
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| Traction |
Always keep this advice in mind: Stay warm, stay dry, stay upright, look sharp. If I know one thing about fashion, it’s that I know nothing about fashion; I just know how I feel, and I feel like I’m going to puke when I see Uggs. Stop it, ladies, just stop it.
